A Notorious Couple Of Cats
by Incredible Heights
Summary: My usual Allan/Kat. Song/Crack fic. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer.


Allan and Kat half crept, half bounced through the forest. It had been so long since they'd been out on the rob properly and ever since they'd somehow landed in Nottingham they had been waiting for the opportune moment to try again.

_Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer  
Were a notorious couple 'cats.  
As knock-about clowns  
Quick change comedians  
Tightrope walkers and acrobats._

It didn't really matter if anyone saw them here. People didn't know what they were up to, and even if they did, they were known here as being with Robin Hood. Even then, they still wore their hoods up, on the odd chance they would see some poor traveller they'd already had hold of.

_They had an extensive reputation,  
They made their home in Victoria Grove,  
This was merely their centre of operation,  
For they were incurably given to rogue,_

They giddily made their way down through the clearing, stifling giggles of excitement as they went. Allan playfully wrapped his arm round Kat's tiny shoulders and whispered "Well, it makes a change from robbing Much's kitchen." They both burst into fits of laughter, remembering the older man's face as he stormed around the camp screaming "Where's my knife?!" followed by "Where's my squir... never mind."

_When the family assembles for Sunday dinner,  
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner on,  
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,  
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes,  
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow,  
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow,  
"The joint has gone from the oven like that!"  
Then the family'll say "It's that horrible cat!"_

As they came to a house that looked perfect, they turned their moonlit faces to look at each other and grinned. Kat pushed open one of the broken shutters and climbed over the windowsill, into the house. In the opposite corner of the room a fat woman and her seemingly emaciated husband were sleeping peacefully. For a moment Kat thought what an odd couple they made. She dismissed the thought as she realized that her own fiancée was at least 7 or 8 inches taller than her, she thought it was a bit like a dog dating one of it's fleas. "Oi" Allan hissed through the window "Get on wi' it!" She whispered a half hearted sorry before passing the stuff carefully to the outstretched hand, protruding from the poor excuse for a window.

_Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?  
And most of the time they'd leave it at that._

"Hey!" The large woman rolled over and hit her husband, a bit harder then warranted, and shouted something along the lines of "Edward, they're back!"

_Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way,  
Of working together,  
And some of the time you would say it was luck,  
And some of the time you would say it was weather,  
They'd go through the __house__ like a hurricane,  
And no sober person could take his oath,  
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?  
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?_

Kat jumped through the window and shoved Allan's back "Go, you idiot!" she said desperately. Allan grabbed the bag of loot and swung it over his shoulder as they bolted back towards the forest. Allan grabbed onto the smaller woman by the arm and pulled her to catch up with him. "Think they're worth doing a third time?" he chuckled.

_When you heard a dining room smash  
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash  
Or down from the library came a loud ping  
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming  
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?  
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer  
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"_

When they reached the forest after what seemed like an eternity, they collapsed to the floor and turned to see the skinny man wheezing like Much after leaning over his little campfire for too long. They noticed the fat woman attempting to wobble after her husband but couldn't find the air in their lungs to laugh as she screamed at him to chase them. As they caught their breathe they gave the couple a cheeky salute before springing to their feet and disappearing into the forest.

_**And there's nothing at all to be done about that!**_


End file.
